Through the fog and mists of the cruel wet Ontarian nights, thunder has cracked and lightning streaked the skies, like the insane post-graduate Dr. Frankenstein… we’ve created a monster. What was once an innocent project with humble aspirations and little ambitions for success is now a story of great “terroir” that has us shaking in our boots. For you see, we’ve found our stride this year, as have the vines as they grow exponentially. Last year, any success was simply dashed by deer, incompetence, and unrelenting heat. Even our most successful vines were at best more cute than they were impressive like child trying to dress itself. Oh the difference a year makes. Now the vines burst forth from the earth vigorously climbing anything in their path. Their enormity is eclipsed only by their aimlessness. At first there was pride, now… fear.
Ask any athlete or millennial in the workplace, training is hard. It seemed easy at first to guide them to our highest wire and they climbed there anxiously. We never thought for a moment we’d have to have any considerations beyond that. Now they grow beyond their britches, some to over 8ft high… and our higher wire is only six feet. This has left us scratching our heads, what do we do with these quickly growing titans? The gut instinct is to lash them down like Lilliputians to Gulliver and so we did. Every vine was fastened down along to top wire in the same direction so they all appear to be taken by a sudden wind. I guess we’ve done our job well but truly I have no idea. Guessing has made us feel quite the fool stumbling about in the dark. To adapt an old saying, anyone can be passionate about wine but it takes a special breed to be this silly about it.
P.S. Some in the group feel we should curve the vines and spell something out with them.