One could easily have substituted the title of this blog with “Achtung!”
This past weekend we decided to prep the soil for planting in the only way we knew how: rent some kind of heavy machinery and hope it came with instructions. It did. In German. Our tiller arrived from Stayner Rental (a magical wonderland of equipment rental fun) with its rear-mounted teeth ready to grind our soil into … slightly finer soil I guess.
Here comes the fun! After fumbling with barely labeled knobs, switches, and ripcords we finally got the beast running. However nearly instantaneously, we jammed the tiller with grass. The length that we left it at wound it’s way around the axle to create a terrifying ball of green and steel. It had to be cleared out by hand, I don’t recommend it if you have a strong sense of self-preservation. We left defeated and saddened. The Germans had won.
Oh I forgot to mention, we did this during a thunderstorm… on a hill… with no trees… like idiots.
As with so many 90s action films, help was just around the corner. After leaving Creemore, my father decided to have a crack at the tiller mono a mono. Wouldn’t you know it? It did the job. What had we done wrong? Apparently in German pictorial instructions OFF in fact means ON. The PTO was never fully engaged which means all we were doing was pushing a big heavy paperweight back and forth across the hill for an extended period of time. Humility and futility leaked from our pores.